I Wish This Happened to Me

The video is not embedding so if you have the time, please watch this video.

It’s videos like this that remind me that unexpected yet awesome things happen everyday, that each day brings an opportunity to be surprised and moved, to feel alive.

The music flashmob is staged, but I don’t know about the girl who put the coin in the hat. What if she wasn’t part of the act? I’m sure that’s one experience she’s not likely to forget anytime soon.

(I actually felt tears starting to creep up along the sides of my eyes and a smile was practically splitting my face into two. That’s how incredible this video is, I think.)

Happy Friday! ūüėÄ

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The Smallness

I was asked during my job interview,

“Why do you want this job?”

It was a job interview so of course I made sure to give a good, eloquent answer. I forgot what it was I said exactly but somewhere around admitting that I wanted a less stressful working environment, I also said,

“I want to do something that isn’t just about making money.”

Which I think I really managed to get in this job that I could not be more grateful for. Sure, the work can be often tedious and boring at the same time, and there are times when you get caught up in the monotony of it all that you can get kind of frustrated, but there are moments when you are reminded of how there is more to it than that.

How what little work I do within the confines of my little office actually contributes to a bigger picture, a movement that actually works toward a greater good.

And I shouldn’t forget that and get lost in the little mundane tasks that could distract me with their seeming smallness and insignificance.

I’m in a good place with good people and I am doing good for others, no matter how small, and I should never lose sight of that.

The Blessing of Legs

Today, I walked a lot. I walked from home to the Starbucks near our place then farther on to a mall where I did some grocery shopping. I probably was on my feet for more than an hour total and I was tired, my back hurt a little, but I felt so invigorated.

Two weeks ago, I had an operation done on my leg due to an infected boil. Despite how I was allowed to go back to work a mere two days later after the procedure, I still wasn’t at 100%. On top of how worried I was about my new surgical incision’s healing process, I was also having trouble walking. I guess the leg was still traumatized over what happened and was begging me to take it easy. So I did.

It was torture. I had to limit my walks and that meant taking early car rides with my Mom to work or taking a taxi. I also couldn’t move around as much as I wanted because then my feet would swell and the knee on my other leg would hurt. I had to walk at a more leisurely place which was just hard for me to do when I usually walked like I always had somewhere important to go to. For the first few days, I was limping and I absolutely hated it, but I had no choice. I was so tired whenever I got home that I pretty much spent it lying down on my bed. The weekend came and my legs still felt shaky and painful. I also spent most of the weekend in bed and I felt so sorry for myself.

Taking it slow paid off, though. Last week, my leg was feeling better. I didn’t feel as tired after walking around some and my knee wasn’t protesting movement anymore. By Wednesday, I was walking normally. By Friday, I found myself running and everything felt okay.

For me, being able to walk on my own is one kind of independence. Being able to walk meant that I could do whatever and go wherever ¬†I want whenever I want. It’s something that we all take for granted, a part of our life that we often overlook because it’s just there. This experience has been another lesson in not taking things for granted because we’ll never really know how important something seemingly obvious and normal could be until its taken away.

Effects of the Media Club

My laptop got infected by a virus, and I was scrambling around trying to look for a way to back up my files because as my luck would have it, even my external hard drive got infected. I considered using Google Drive and I already uploaded some files into it. I finally hit on the idea of burning stuff into DVDs on the way to work earlier today, so I decided that I would be getting blank DVDs on the way home later.

There was a National Bookstore on the way home, so it was easy enough to drop in for a quick shopping trip. I got my blank DVDs, and I also got a blue gel pen because I needed one for work. That was all I needed, but of course, since I was already in the bookstore, I decided to browse around a little. In the end, I left the store with four blank DVDs, a blue gel pen, three comic books and one book.

I suppose it wouldn’t have been anything new for me, coming out of a bookstore with more purchases than I planned to get. What was new, though, was the kind of stuff I bought. I got three different Black Ink comics, namely¬†Pepe: the Lost Years of Rizal,¬†The Reaper¬†and¬†Vergil: the Warrior Angel, and a book by Alan Navarra entitled¬†Dumot. I got the comics because I got curious about the stories of each comic as they dealt with the supernatural and because each cost a very affordable P69.75. The book was a bit more pricey at P200, but again, I was curious. The blurb at the back was intriguing and the cover had a unique design. And what was “dumot” anyway? As I was standing in line to pay for everything, I knew that at any other time, I would most probably not have bothered with the comics and the book. I was still keeping careful control of my finances and I haven’t been a comic-reading person in a very long time. Admittedly, the price was a factor, but at the same time, I guess I could say that I have become more open to trying things that were different from my usual diversions of choice.

The Media Club has been going on for a while now and I like to think that it has broadened my horizons and made me more curious about what’s out there and open to trying different things. At the same time, with the club involving other people, it’s much easier to share experiences and thoughts which don’t come as easily when you experience something by yourself and just write about it on your blog like I tend to do when I can. Maybe I’ll share some of these discoveries when it’s my turn to bring up something for the club.

Let’s keep it up, guys. I think our Media Club is really doing something good for us. ūüėÄ

Rainy Sundays Are Not Good For the Psyche

“I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so I called him at home and then he e-mailed me to my Blackberry and so I texted to his cell and then he e-mailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control. And I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn’t. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.” – Mary, He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

The idea of this quote just played around in my head today. It’s just that I can relate to it so much nowadays. Not in the sense that there’s this guy that I like and I get rejected by seven different technologies, but I get it. I get it so much. It also applies to friendships, especially those that you only manage to have online.

Right now, there are so many social networking sites and a lot of people are members of at least three of them. Most of the time, you join them so you can keep in touch with your friends, coworkers, et cetera. That’s the main point of these things, really, but the funny thing is, no matter how connected we seem, we’re really not. Sure, you’ve added or friended these people, but it doesn’t necessarily guarantee that a genuine connection will spring from that action. Most days, you’re just another name and picture in their timeline, dashboard, friends’ list, whatever and you’re lucky if someone or a couple of people regularly respond or “Like” the things that you post.

I guess some people don’t make a big deal about it. Yeah, you’re one in more than a hundred in someone’s list of friends in a certain social networking site. It happens. You can’t expect people to notice you or focus on you all the time. Move on, loser. You can start worrying about other things. Better yet, why not go out and actually talk to people, huh? Make new friends or better yet, actually talk to the ones you already have. Stop moping about and thinking about things you can’t help or control.

But I do and it just makes me sad because it does feel like you’re being rejected or ignored when you do put yourself out there and no one responds. And in multiple platforms too. It just sucks. Really, really sucks and I sympathize with Drew Barrymore’s character because of that.

I wish I could have another Toffee Nut Latte. /sighs

Casual Fujoshi Musings: Butlers and the Butler Cafe

Today, a friend and I managed to do one of the things a lot of anime fangirls would want to do should they have the chance: visit a Butler Cafe.

Okay, so it’s not a real one. I don’t think there’s an actual Butler Cafe here in the Philippines unless you mean those that you see in anime conventions. We went to Blush Con, a yaoi/BL convention (and I swear I will tackle that later!), and one of the attractions that they offered was the Butler Cafe. Of course, who were we to turn down the chance to be waited on by a handsome butler? And so we signed up and so we found ourselves waiting outside this room that was designated for the cafe.

It’s not surprising that we’re probably one of the older patrons and it’s also not surprising that we’re not the only ones who had lined up. The line was long and filled with squealing, excited young-uns, waiting for their chance to experience firsthand to be a Butler Cafe Princess for 30 minutes. There was an uproar when one of the organizers came up and said that only 15 pictures will be allowed in the next session (you can pay P50 for a chance to take a polaroid picture with your favorite butler). And just like the¬†disillusioned old ladies that we were, we rolled our eyes and muttered about the kids expecting too much. They had no right to complain as they haven’t paid for it yet; complain when you have paid for it, kids! It was then that we decided that we won’t be taking a picture with our favorite butler, because we didn’t want to get in the middle of that madness. Even if one of our good friends happened to be one of the butlers. It’ll be okay. We can ambush her some other time and then we can take as many pictures as we want, haha.

And then it was our turn. And ohmyGod, our Butler was¬†cuuuuuuuute. He was tall, cheerful and moe. He called himself Moo. He tried to recite the whole menu from memory and he failed, but it’s okay. He looked adorable doing it anyway. Our simple afternoon tea was certainly made more exciting by his presence. We played some games with him and we interviewed him a little. Apparently, he was dragged into doing the Butler Cafe by his brother and it was his first time. He said it was all kinds of awkward and then he looked weirded out and edged away when one of the girls in our table dragged out her BL paraphernalia from the con. Then he asked what fanservice was and I had to stare and ask, “Are you for real?” Because really. Really?? You work in a Butler Cafe and you don’t know what fanservice is?? He soon got what it was though when he had one of the Butlers come to our table. He leaned in to whisper into his ear and one of the girls in our table squealed. A moment later, he was asking if he was doing fanservice by grabbing the other butler by the hips.¬†Thirty minutes passed by so fast and the next thing we knew, we had to get up and leave. Moo said goodbye and gave us all a hug, thanking us for coming. He even saw us out. He was such a sweetie and I pretty much could say that I enjoyed my time at the Butler Cafe. Too bad we didn’t get to have our picture taken with him.

It made me wonder, though, was it all real? Was Moo really that sweet and cheerful and awkward? Was his story of being recruited by his brother true? Did he really not know what fanservice was? The happy customer in me wanted to believe that it was, that Moo was really like that in real life, but the fangirl who did her research knew that Butler Cafes catered to women who had their fantasies.  Fantasies of being catered to by handsome young men who appreciate and enjoy their company, who will give them hugs, see them to the door when they leave and look forward to their return. It was just a bit sad to think of something like that after being taken in by the magic that was the Butler Cafe. And Moo, too, who took care of us very well while we were with him.

Will I be going back next year for another Butler Cafe session? I don’t know. I pretty much know how to ruin a fun, happy, thing, I think. No one said that I didn’t¬†over-analyze¬†these things and I did it a lot. So I don’t know, we’ll see. Who knows. Maybe next year, I’ll actually have a real, cute, huggable guy who wouldn’t mind playing games or having afternoon tea with me and I wouldn’t have to pay to get him.

Honestly?

I’ve just been thinking a lot about honesty today, like, how honest are we really?

Our society seems to thrive on not being wholly ourselves. ¬†At job interviews, we’re always advised to “put your best foot forward”, “keep it short (stupid)” and to just never give your possible new employer everything that you are in one sitting. This applies to a lot of other aspects of our lives when it comes to dealing with people. We’re not to say too much about ourselves lest we make others uncomfortable. We’re also not to ask about certain things lest we make others uncomfortable too. We should be careful about what we post online, what we say or do out in public. There are things such as delicacy and discretion and respect and it seems to keep things peaceful, a nice, stable status quo.

Now, I understand how all this makes sense. Surely we try our best to be nice so as everyone gets along. There should be order and all that. Why would you hire an employee who would be bad for the company? Why would you befriend someone unpleasant? Why try and destroy the delicate balance of peace we’ve all got going on? I get it. Really. I do.

But sometimes, you have to wonder. Are people happy with keeping the peace? Do people ever get tired of just not being honest so that they can live unhindered, stable lives? Don’t they get tired of saying one thing but thinking another? Of thinking about what others think of them all the time? Of just not being themselves?

I do and I wish it were that easy to stop living a lie.

I think, if I became really honest, I won’t have friends. No one will like me. Heck, I don’t even like myself a lot of the time, so why would other people? Stockholm Syndrome, maybe? I don’t know, but I just feel that if people actually knew what I think a lot of the time, what I’m capable of doing if I let myself, they wouldn’t like me at all.

And so I keep it all to myself. I like being liked. I like being secure. I like not being alone even though at times it’s grating to be amidst so many people and so much activity.

Do you have what it takes to be completely honest? I envy you if you do because I’m just not that brave to be.