The Weight is the Issue

My weight has always been kind of an issue for me. I try not to talk about it too much but it’s really something that I think about a lot. I guess it’s because I’ve almost gotten back to the weight that I was back in College and that was when I was at my biggest.

I guess in some ways it’s good that I have gained the weight back because at least I’m not sickly. When I lost a lot of weight before, my immune system got shot and I suffered from a whole slew of health problems. I was sick all the time and I had what I felt like some kind of unidentified, undiagnosed eating disorder. I just didn’t want to eat and then I got sicker and sicker until I got so weak and sick I had to be hospitalized. I got diagnosed first with lupus then MCTD and things, as they say, are history.

So now I’ve gained back the weight and I’m not quite happy about it. I see old pictures of me when I was unhealthy and yet so thin and I miss those days. People tell me I look better like this and I also do my best to agree and say so but at times I just can’t help thinking I’d look and feel so much better if I lost some weight. It’s probably true. I do need to stop eating so much crap and start exercising again. But well, food is just so good and exercising is just so gross.

I’ve probably blogged about this before and I’ve always said that I would actually get up and start being healthier but the motivation always escapes me after a while and I find myself going back and munching on that piece of chocolate.

Such is my life.

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6 thoughts on “The Weight is the Issue

  1. aliroy123 says:

    If you think weight is the issue, you should probably visit my blog which deals with all about fitness and weight-loss. 🙂

  2. i do experience that right now too… i can’t help but to whole “heartedly” follow my cravings.. before i used to wake up every 4am and dance zumba for 30-60 mins… i lost 2kilos in 2 weeks.. now i cannot give any time for it anymore.. i hope we can have enough courage to help our selves 🙂

  3. Hi! Contrary to the previous comments, I will not give any advice or whatsoever here. Let me just say, I SHARE YOUR SENTIMENTS. I used to be fine with my weight. When I started working, I gained those unnecessary lbs, especially when I discovered the happiness of eating in those restaurants I can’t afford back in college. When I was transferred to another boss (God bless her soul) I was all stressed and my spirits were down, I lost weight the unhealthy way. I felt I was thin for the first time because I can fit to XS clothes. Years after, work became manageable and I was again transferred to another office. Guess what, the evil weight gain attacked me again. This came in bad timing as I’m ageing and my metabolism is decelerating.

    I tried exercising but dear God, it was a supreme sacrifice. I still prefer my weekend sleeping marathon.

    I may sound too pessimist but I wish you well. Hopefully we will both end up as happy and healthy beings after this struggle.

    • Hi and sorry for the late reply!

      It really is a struggle to get up and exercise. I’m still struggling with it and it’s harder now than ever because it’s the Christmas season and there is so much food in the house! It’s almost the New Year, though. So, it can be our New Year’s Resolution? 😉

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