“Trial by Fire”

According to Wikipedia, “trial by fire” could also mean “trial by ordeal, by which the guilt or innocence of the accused is determined by subjecting them to a painful task”. That has certainly been what it was like this past week at work. No one was being put to trial to see who was guilty or innocent but it still felt like we were being roasted. It was like everything went straight to Hell and everything was going wrong. It was a crazy case of Murphy’s Law and I wanted nothing more than for the agony to end.

Obviously, it did. Sort of. I’m at home now and I don’t have to deal with anything work-related for the next two days or so. Or at least not physically. Mentally and psychologically, however, I will continue to be bothered, I just know it. I’m just the type to overthink things and keep myself up at night going over things that happened and what had been said. Of what could have been done better or what I could have said instead.

I just feel so exhausted and stressed. I think I cried myself to sleep at least once this week. It’s that horrible and I’ve cried myself to sleep a couple of times before but I don’t think I’ve had felt this awful in a while. Right now, I just have so much nervous energy and it’s almost midnight. I might need some help getting to sleep.

Terrible week was terrible.

I hope next week will be better. I hope the rest of May will be too.

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