I Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over My Crush for Leonardo DiCaprio

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I got a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio after watching Titanic. I was 11 at the time, an awkward pre-teener who was first discovering the charm of boys, and I thought Leo was soooooooo handsome. I tried to watch all his movies just to stare at his pretty face and along the way I got convinced that he did have talent along with charisma and looks and all that. Fast-forward a bit over a decade later and I found myself watching another movie with him in it. Yep, The Great Gatsby was the first Leonardo DiCaprio movie I’ve seen in the big screen after Titanic and I didn’t really mind. I really wanted to see Django Unchained too, but that didn’t happen between one thing or another. Imagine my surprise when my Mom expressed how she wanted to watch the movie today and so we did.

So what did I think of the movie. A lot of people seemed to hate it while a lot of people also seemed to like it. I could understand how people would hate it, seeing as how Baz Luhrmann made it in his usual garish (but totally awesome, in my humble, Generation Y opinion) MTV-visual type style and that just wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, especially given that The Great Gatsby was a very significant piece of American literature. At the same time, you had to love it for that crazy, glitzy style, the use of 3D to emphasize it along with the rather unexpected soundtrack choices.

And there was Leonardo DiCaprio. I have to ask a very pertinent question that has been asked several times through the years: Why does he not have an Oscar yet? It was a good move to cast him as the enigmatic Gatsby. He had the acting chops for it (and he displayed them rather well, obviously) and he was sure to bring in the fans, which I’m sure he did. I mean, I watched it. I thought it was pretty cool and I was pretty happy after I left the movie house because I saw yet another Leonardo DiCaprio movie where he was awesome as always.

Which probably would say a lot about the movie. For me, for it to be a really good movie, you have to be involved in it even after you’ve left the movie house. Sure, I left quite happy and not at all sorry that I spent a bit more for a movie in 3D and maybe I’m more curious about the Gatsby book which might lead me to reading it sometime in the future. However, that was it. I loved Leonardo DiCaprio as Jay Gatsby, but I think I’d love him to do any other character he decides to play later on. I’d probably watch that movie, too. But The Great Gatsby movie itself? I’ll probably look it up on Tumblr for the pretty pictures and .gifs (mostly of Leo, I admit), probably get the soundtrack and that’s it. I thought it was pretty, I thought it was pretty wild and entertaining, but that was it. For me, I went in to watch Leo and I went out happy that I saw it because Leo was great.

I guess in that way the movie was kind of weak in comparison to Leo, the star, and it was kind of unfortunate in a way. But no tears shed. I got to see Leo be his handsome, talented self and I guess I got what I paid for.

“Trial by Fire”

According to Wikipedia, “trial by fire” could also mean “trial by ordeal,┬áby which the guilt or innocence of the accused is determined by subjecting them to a painful task”. That has certainly been what it was like this past week at work. No one was being put to trial to see who was guilty or innocent but it still felt like we were being roasted. It was like everything went straight to Hell and everything was going wrong. It was a crazy case of Murphy’s Law and I wanted nothing more than for the agony to end.

Obviously, it did. Sort of. I’m at home now and I don’t have to deal with anything work-related for the next two days or so. Or at least not physically. Mentally and psychologically, however, I will continue to be bothered, I just know it. I’m just the type to overthink things and keep myself up at night going over things that happened and what had been said. Of what could have been done better or what I could have said instead.

I just feel so exhausted and stressed. I think I cried myself to sleep at least once this week. It’s that horrible and I’ve cried myself to sleep a couple of times before but I don’t think I’ve had felt this awful in a while. Right now, I just have so much nervous energy and it’s almost midnight. I might need some help getting to sleep.

Terrible week was terrible.

I hope next week will be better. I hope the rest of May will be too.