The past few weeks had been a whirlwind, both physically and emotionally, for me. I was feeling and doing so many things that I hadn’t had the courage to put fingers to keyboard in order to churn out an entry. I was afraid that I was going to be writing things that I would regret and while this was my blog, I would like to spare my readers unneeded melodrama. Sometimes, things are so private or so painful that putting the experience down on a blog entry just seems like a new world of pain. Really, be glad that I didn’t decide to write about everything when I was still in the thick of it. Now you can all rest easy and so can I.
Earlier today, my friend Tina linked me to an article entitled How to survive best friend breakup and it was a huge reminder of what I had gone through the past few weeks. Break ups don’t just happen between couples in romantic relationships; they happen between friends too and I’m glad that that article was able to shed some light on a very sad and stressful situation that most everyone goes through. I almost lost a very close friend recently and the article was able to describe our situation rather well. I can’t give you a clear picture of what had happened, but there was a lot of pain and anxiety on both sides and I thought we were done for. It was really getting toxic and I was starting to get physically sick from all the stress and anxiety the situation was giving me. I was ready to step back, to let go, for my and her own good, but well… Things have a way of fixing themselves. True, we’re not yet perfect, there’s that niggling feeling that it’s still all too soon for us to be talking again, the situation had gone ugly and crazy before it got better, but both of us feel that our friendship is worth the risk of a an effort toward reconciliation. There’s no guarantee that we won’t end up getting into a bad situation again, but I think we’d both regret it too much if we didn’t try to give each other a chance.
It sounds like a romantic relationship, doesn’t it? But yes, that’s how friendships can be sometimes. A friendship is also a relationship that you have to work on. It doesn’t always work and there’s a possibility that it won’t last forever, but there are those relationships that are worth fighting for, worth giving a second chance.
So now, we’re okay. I like to think that we’re both healing. Hopefully, we won’t experience any of that pain ever again. It was hard, so very hard…
At the same time, I was also set to start working in an online ESL teaching school for Koreans, but not as a teacher as I originally applied. ‘Funny how things work out the way they do sometimes. I applied for a teaching position after hesitating on doing so for the longest time. I went there, I took the test, I got interviewed, I did two demo classes (after four years of not teaching! And this was a video class!) and then was told to wait for my results. I was contacted by the company a few days later and I found out that I passed the application process. They asked if they can speak to me and we ended up having a talk over Skype. I was offered the Office Admin position (with a chance to teach on the side when needed) and I took it.
Admittedly, it’s not the most glamorous job in the world, especially given where I worked last. I mostly do clerical work that rarely requires neither thought or creativity. The office is located in Pasay Rotonda, this chaotic place in Manila where they made this indie movie last year about how crazy and violent it could get over there. It’s in this old building where the elevator feels like it would give, killing everyone who was unfortunately inside at the time. It’s small and there’s less than 20 people working at a time. The office has this weird smell, like the smell of cooking rice mixed with something else indistinguishable, and it wafts out into the hallway. The salary is half of what I was accustomed to receiving and that was just unfortunate.
However, I’m hardly stressed. The work is easy, but I feel accomplished each time I’m able to finish a task because I really feel like I’m contributing in some way. The people are simple and easy enough to get along with (so far). The dress code is just casual and decent. They offer free rice everyday and someone washes your dishes for you after you eat. I even get free coffee sometimes from our very own Ate Monica. 😀 Our boss isn’t cute (haha), but he’s nice and friendly. The salary is lower than what I’m used to, but I don’t really need to spend much anyway as I’m just an LRT ride away, I can bring food to work and I can wear t-shirts and jeans to work.
I really think I can work there for a while. True, I’m just doing it part-time for now, but once I’m doing it full time, I don’t think it would be that different. At least I hope so. I’m really looking forward to getting my first salary, even though I’m sure it’s still going to be quite small. It’s nice to just finally be earning again after so long.
Wish me luck, guys.
Hopefully things will be better for me from now on.